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Monday, October 1, 2007
Hard-Knock Wife
Western Arkansas, AR
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Coaches’ Wives Stay Supportive Despite Putting Up With Long Hours
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“We are a team, and whoever needs to be cheered on, gets it,” — Kaye Abshier, wife of Priairie Grove coach Danny Abshier, on the support her husband provided after being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2000.
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When Arkadelphia native Kaye Abshier said “I Do” to a young college student named Danny Abshier, 26 years ago, little did she know what she had gotten herself into. She had married into a big family — a football family.
The first lady of Prairie Grove football for the past 15 years, Kaye Abshier has always loved the game that her husband coaches. It’s this passion for the game that helps Kaye to endure the long hours that keep her husband away each season.
For a coach’s wife, each week is a constant buzz. Monday nights are junior varsity games, Thursdays are for junior high, and Friday nights are when the week’s work is put the to test. Not to mention analyzing the game film on Saturdays.
As someone who has done it for many years, Kaye is used to not seeing much of her husband during the season. According to the mother of three, when her husband is home, he doesn’t let the game’s emotions interfere; he keeps them on the field. Surprisingly, it’s Kaye who sometimes finds herself more troubled over a loss.
Kaye has seen her share of losses after her husband took over the Tigers program. While her husband worked on perfecting the running game, Kaye went to work on the booster club. She helped make flags and rally towels and brought pride back to a program that had stuck pride next to the gum under the bleachers for years.
Now when the lights flicker each Friday night at Tigers Stadium and the band begins to play, one can find Kaye close to the action. In fact, just as close as her husband. For the past seven years, Kaye has spent each play snapping photos and capturing memories of every game. However, she leaves the play calling to her husband and tries to remain invisible on the sidelines. Almost too invisible.
“Recently I got run over on the sidelines, and he didn’t pay attention to it,” giggled Kaye. “Everyone else came running over to check on me, but my husband just figured it was one of his players stuck in the fence.”
This wasn’t the first time that Kaye had been knocked down, and the other “hit” was one that the head coach couldn’t miss. In 2000, just before the season started, Kaye was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, a disease that affects the central nervous system.
For the first time, Kaye found herself in the game — of life — instead of on the sidelines, and her husband was the one standing by cheering her on.
“We are a team, and whoever needs to be cheered on, gets it,” Kaye said.
No Knocks
On Mrs. Wood
Travel up Interstate 540, and there is a similar story. April Wood is a mother of two (Hunter and Hayden) and wife of Chris Wood, Springdale Har-Ber’s head coach. Like Kaye Abshier, she lives a stressful life all for the love of her husband and the game. But it hasn’t always been that way.
“I grew up hating football,” laughed April. “But now it’s my passion. I love the atmosphere on Friday nights and I love the players. I live for the game.”
A huge blessing for April when times get hard during the season is the starting lineup of coaches’ wives that stand beside her. Because coaches are easily distracted due to practice quarrels and off-field messes, April thought it would be nice to have a newsletter to help note upcoming events. That way, the band of Har-ber Wildcat wives know when there is a tailgating party or special event and can keep up with their schedules more easily.
“It’s our own little huddle,” said April.
The biggest hurdle for April is helping her husband start a tradition at Northwest Arkansas’ newest high school. With this come the trials of having to endure losses that the Wood family has experienced over the past eight and a half years. But the best thing for her family is keeping her husband’s mind off the game while he’s home.
It’s something special to get a hug from two little sons who are indifferent to the game. And don’t forget mom, too.
For both Kaye and April, their wedding rings are a symbol to the promise they made to their husbands and teammates — and to the game of football.
After all, for a coach’s wife it’s a hard-knock life, but to them it’s worth every minute.
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