Fending For Time

Being a child of a coach can sometimes be difficult. There are the nights when you have to fend for yourself. There could be days without seeing your mom or dad. Growing up quickly is almost inevitable. But for the Soyez family, they wouldn't have it any other way. Gayla Soyez is the head women's basketball coach at Friends University and her two kids, Elliot and Samantha, have been with her every step of the way in her journey as a coach. Whether it was making long trips to road games at Ottawa or Saint Mary's, going on recruiting trips or eating out often, Elliot and Sam adjusted to what they viewed as "ordinary life." They look back on it now with no regrets. "I remember one time, Samantha falling asleep on a basketball floor when she was a kid," Gayla says. "Another time, Elliot asking me 'Mom, when are you going to be home.' That stuff is hard but I think my kids have had to grow up a lot and I think that is a good thing." Life has become more convenient for the Soyez family since Gayla decided to move from Hillsboro to the Wichita area, where she is closer to her work at Friends. When they lived in Hillsboro, she would be lucky to see Elliot and Samantha but for a few minutes a week, especially during the season. Gayla's husband and the children's father, Will, still lives in the Hillsboro area working as a farmer and rancher. The move to Wichita may be the most difficult on him. "When they were little, I could still spend some time with them," says Gayla. "But when they got older, we were going in three different directions. It only made sense to move closer, so we could be closer." When she made the move to Wichita, the first priority for Gayla became watching her kids compete in athletics. She had only seen a few games during Sam's freshman season at Hillsboro High in 2006-07, when the Trojans won the Class 3A state championship. Last season, as Sam and her new team at Goddard High marched to the Class 6A state title game, Gayla got to be a part of all the drama at sub-state and state. "Basketball is all I've ever known," Samantha says. "I played volleyball, but basketball was always my love and I think it had a lot to do with being around it so much." Elliot, entering his senior golf season this spring, used to play basketball at Hillsboro but gave it up when he transferred to Goddard. His focus is the links. After shooting 80 at Shadow Glen in Olathe to medal at the Class 6A state golf tournament last May, Elliot is the area's only returning 6A medalist from last season. Next year, he will golf for Grier Jones at Wichita State. With Gayla able to do the majority of her recruiting in the Wichita metropolitan area, she has had the opportunity to see many of Elliot's meets and tournaments. "That is certainly an advantage of living closer," she said. "The majority of the girls I recruit play in the same league as Goddard." As has always been the case over the years, Elliot and Sam still accompany their mom to the gymnasium for most home games, though Sam manages to stay awake now. Growing up in a gym and having an emotional investment in what their mom does, both go through the ups and downs with Gayla. "We care if they win or lose," Elliot said. "And we still yell at the refs." Working for such a family-oriented university like Friends is reassuring to the Soyez family. In February, when Samantha had to go to North Carolina for hip surgery, the university let Gayla take a leave of absence to make the trip with her. After the two of them had returned and Sam attended her first game back, numerous administrators and staff at Friends stopped by to ask her how she was doing. "The people here at Friends have been great in allowing me to be a mom and a coach at the same time," Gayla said. "To a certain degree, some of the people are viewed as extended family."